Episode 41: “Wizards in three!”

April 17, 2017

Dave, Sean, and Joey preview the Eastern Conference Finals, and Joey delivers some of the scorchingest predictions in Roundball history, including a prescient "Bulls in six" take. We also debate the postseason awards, and invent our own, including Joel Embiid the Comeback and Goneaway Player of the Year. We also review our awful over/under picks, struggle with Zipsermania, and learn that Plumlees = poison, while the 2016-17 Warriors face their arch-enemy: the TNT broadcast team. Shouts to the Turner family! This episode is sponsored by Malcolm Brogdon's Frog Den.


Episode 40: “Was he with a weed-smoking baby?”

April 14, 2017

It's E-40 of the podcast, as Joey and Sean are joined by special guest Chris Garcia! We talk a lot about Tony Romo, other celebrities we want to see with one-day contracts, white slavery in the '80s, Steph Curry's ugly shoes, basketball players in other sports, and Chris tells us about attending the very first Rock n' Jock Basketball game & getting dissed by Vlade Divac. Classic Lakers get campus jobs, and the Warriors matchup against the Dominic Toretto Gang on a quarter-mile-long basketball court. Sponsored by Tony Romo's Hobo Dojo.

(Closing music - "Just Say No," L.A. Lakers)


“The Five Juwan Howards You Meet In Heaven”

April 7, 2017

Dave is in Utah, Sean is in SF, and Joey is in LA but the pod must go on! We choose who teams should send to the lottery draw, talk unwritten NBA rules, speculate about Orlando's dry-erase board foibles, and make our MVP picks. Also the Basketball Hall of Fame screws up again, Lance Stephenson comes home to Club Rio, the Warriors battle Neil Gorsuch and the Senate, and we announce the slate of shows on the Roundball Rocketeerist podcast network.


Episode 38: “Me and Arn Tellem Have Beef”

March 29, 2017

Dave, Sean, and Joey are joined by Turner family cousin C.J. Toledano of Bleacher Report. C.J. talks about making videos for the Pistons, plays "Shitty Bull or Bull Shit?" and we all visit Kobe Bryant's Musecage. We also assign draft propsects their worst possible home, endorse Sam Hinkie for the Sacramento team president, and everyone taps the brakes on the Devin Booker bandwagon. Also the Warriors battle True Romance, but really, this is all about the Musecage.

Sponsored by Don Nelson's Boozecage.


Episode 37: Phil Jackson Got Cucked By Jay Mohr

March 23, 2017

It's a full-squad Skype pod, as Dave, Sean & Joey discuss the resurgence in NBA fighting, James Harden's attempt to join The Hoopers, San Antonio women, the Tinderization of the NBA, and Jay Mohr's new relationship with Jeanie Buss. Plus we take a deep dive into the Dirkwurst, Matt Barnes battles Matt Barnes, Kristaps Porzingis channels Jonathan Lipnicki, and we explain why "Juwanna Mann" made Michael Jordan draft Jared Jeffries.

(Closing music: "Gangsta," by Troy "T-Hud" Hudson)


Roundball Bonus: The NCAA Tournament is a Werner Herzog nightmare

March 22, 2017

It's a special bonus Roundball as Sean talks to SF comedian - and basketball mascot expert - Ben Kolina! Ben breaks down the remaining matchups, and explains why the Miami Hurricanes ar ethe most devastating possible mascot. We also talk Info Wars, industrialization, Roger Stone, and the awkwardness of Baylor University playing a tema called the Gamecocks. Who's cutting down the nets? Not the working class!


Episode 36: “David Duchovny’s litigious balls!”

March 16, 2017

It's an episode for the Big Ballers this week as Dave, Sean & Joey talk about Lavar Ball's one-on-one battle with Michael Jordan, Larry Sanders' return to the NBA, the resting Warriors ruining birthday parties, and the toaster some weirdo sent Klay Thompson to sign. Plus Chandler Parsons is hurt, Ricky Rubio is dominating, and Darko is a 360-pound farmer. Sponsored by George Karl's Junior. 


Episode 35: “Luke Kennard looks like Dylan Roof with a jump shot”

March 10, 2017

Comedian, baller, and Tar Heel superfan Erin Lennox (@ErinDeweyLennox) joins the podcast for a March Madness special that's mostly making fun of Duke. There's listener calls, shining moments, the Phoenix Gorilla, one-on-one with Jason Kidd, the King in the North Hollywood, and J.j. Redick's poetry. Plus the Warriors face a North Carolina All-Star team and we answer the question, "Who's the worst person in America - Richard Spencer, or Grayson Allen?" Sponsored by the Jerry Sloan Conference.


Episode 34: “Why aren’t there more mascots in wheelchairs?”

March 7, 2017

The greatest shooter in San Diego State history, Zach Harper (@talkhoops), joins the boys as we discuss the Timberwolves, Sacramento landmarks, Festus Ezeli's cadaver knee, bust names, Cleveland's pyromania, and why voice texts are like dick pics. Plus Zach plays "Fictional Gunner/Actual Gunner" and the Warriors take on a team of guys with devastating knee injuries.

(Closing music: "Ricky Rubio Rap" by T-Pups)


Episode 33: “James Harden’s beard is worth more than everything in your apartment!”

March 3, 2017

The boys react to the Kevin Durant injury and pick the worst injury replacement of all time. Bad hombre Matt Barnes and his hairstyles join the Warriors, Jimmer Fredette forms a Big Four in New Orleans, and we might be living in a computer simulation. The Golden State Warriors face La La Land in a lead-blowing competition, the NBA has its worst rookie class ever, Tom Thibodeau will play you long time, and fake doctor Glenn Rivers has a parasite. Besides Austin. Sponsored by D-Will's Spray-On Hair.

(Closing music, "Alec Baldwin's Voicemail" read by our robot)